Thursday, May 26, 2011

Even Steven

My daddy taught me how to be
An even better version of he
You know that song by paul simon?
well I think he may have been lyin
Cause there will never be a daughter who
loves my father quite as much as I do
And when I look at LahLi she may not be as lucky as me
But ima teach her all that steve taught free to be
Her father loves her completely no doubt
But me and my daddy got a love you cant live without
The day before his birthday became my arrival
Learned from him the most important lesson: survival
Too soon to shout
marvin gayes inner city blues
yous a fool to think he was a betting man that’d lose
take off your shoes when you walk into the house
grab some sparkling water and have a seat on the couch
listen as he sacrificially put his life on the line
to save mine
on the corners he rhymed smoked dimes
but it seems once I was born he ran outta time
lost the fight of his life in his prime
to a little yella baby girl he once said “aint mine”
she was a lil too lite his signature he refused to forge
“wasn’t you messing with that white dude named George?”
Is she even yours? Baby you black as night!
My mother shouts: Niggah go fly a kite!
Ofcourse , she was right I indeed was his
Glo wasn’t playin she was talking square biz
He told me on the corner of fifth avenue
Hustling was easy, ways out were few
He was stereo with the boss flow
Him and my uncle hi-fi so you already know
What kinda high and trouble drunkenness they got into
Fucked up adventures old and new
Mixed reviews
Some say to this day
Girl you know Steve Morgan dont play
Shiiiiid whooped my ass every which kinda way
Made it hard to stay so when I turned 16
I was one ego strand short mentality beauty queen
That niggah couldn’t tell me nothin
Standing like im grown knowin damn well im bluffin
Bullshit aint bout nothing
I got my ass whooped, he beat me so bad
Man my neighbors were shook
And then put me out
Not a benefit of the doubt
Couldn’t find no sympathy
The niggah got too much clout!
Didn’t realize until I gave birth to Gregory
Everything that my pops truly meant to me
See I thought I was a victim of unlawful crimes
As many times as he beat mines
I felt like I was unfairly sheltered
But you know as a kid you never really pay attention to the weather
My daddy saw so much of himself in me
he made sure that I knew humility
“Too proud that girl” is what discernment would say
But somehow dad knew I was gon be ok
I never got anything that I didn’t work for
Never received it before thanking the good Lord
He used to make me do such outlandish things!
Like if I needed to express myself use a damn dictionary
And if I could find ways to enunciate and convey
My opinion across without taking all day
 my reward then I guess maybe would be
A time where I could skillfully curse him out without him beating me?
But as I got older as we all do
I finally understood all those hidden clues:
Baby girl you will lose
Baby girl be misused
But baby girl belong to me
So you got the fight within you
Ive seen already the hell
Baby girl you gon fail
And even if im standing right there when you fall
Baby girl I gotta let you yell
Baby girl its gon hurt
Baby girl you gon have to put in work
Baby girl don’t marry that niggah hes a muthafuckin jerk
Baby girl gon be poor
Baby girl you will starve
But ive filled you up with courage
So it wont be so hard
Baby girl grab all that courage and wit and skill
Ive deeply instilled
And start licking your wounds so you can begin to heal
Baby girl you got this! You too gotdamn strong!
I know that you’ll get it just try to hold on
Baby girl daaamn whats taking you so long?!
Even if you think its right I wont tell you its wrong
 Buy baby girl you gotta learn these lessons… on your own

So this heres for the fathers doing big things by themselves
No worries your children will not require much help
Go ahead full speed, you are not a dying breed
I have an amazing father, and his name is STEVE



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